Building and Maintaining Strong Relationships

I grew up with Disney princess movies where the concept of love was this magical thing that was perfect all the time. I learned as I got older, that that simply was not the case. In fact, relationships can be quite difficult.

As mentioned in the lessons of friendships, there are things within your relationship that are out of your control.

Relationships are so different and vary based on culture, socioeconomic status, and even nationality. However, these main things to know can be applied to most, if not all, relationships in order for them to be healthy:

• 1. Don’t Lead Anyone On
• 2. Set Healthy Boundaries
• 3. Communicate with Each Other
• 4. Support Each Other

Don’t Lead Anyone On

It’s not a good thing to lead any one on. It’s important to make sure you are attracted to your partner.

Now it is completely unrealistic for everyone to be attracted to you. Take the rejection and move on if someone isn’t into you. There are so many people out there.

Make yourself clear in your intentions. If you want something more long-term, make that clear upfront. If not, let them know. Wasting someone’s time can cause resentment. Be honest and transparent.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Just because you are in a relationship, that does not mean you are entitled to your partner and vice versa.

Not taking your partner’s boundaries seriously can not only disturb their comfort, but this can also cause negative rifts in your relationship.

Communicate with Each Other

In a relationship, we cannot read each other’s mind. If your partner does something that upsets you, let them know calmly what they did, why it made you feel the way it did, and discuss how you can resolve the situation.

This doesn’t just apply to conflict; if your partner does something kind to you, express gratitude, and praise. Compliments can make any one feel good.

Support Each Other

Support one another by taking the time to listen to each other, offer honest, yet mindful feedback, and sometimes by just giving love to your partner. No one should feel dismissed in a relationship.

If you are telling your partner something, and they seem distracted and uninterested, let them know how you don’t feel supported. This can also apply to you too.

Conclusion

In conclusion, if you and your partner are struggling yet want to stay together, contact a couple’s therapist. It doesn’t hurt to get a third opinion.

I recommend a therapist because more often than not, our loved ones are biased towards us, so you need a fresh, unbiased opinion. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t rely on your trusted loved ones, no, this just means be careful with what you share with others.

Written by Doreen Chirwa · My Growing Pains